how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
