I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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