so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
