i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
