we have officially lost it.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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