We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Congratulations! We have a period
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
