Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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