you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
