I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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