Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
