Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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