I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize