He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
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Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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