im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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