I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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