nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
