what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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