PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
