Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
