If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
