angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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