There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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