So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
