Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
