I wish I could teleport
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
