I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
