he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so let's talk penis.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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