shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
