So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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