Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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