..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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