Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
