I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
