How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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