my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
