She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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