I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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