i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
