it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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