just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
my liver is dry heaving
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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