I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
