I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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