is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
