So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
my poor anus
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
