Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
