i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
