I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
