I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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