i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
