How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
