he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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