Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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