I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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