Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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