In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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