hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
