Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
